Bad Guy Bakery
by Nidonemo
Summary: What do the bad guys do when they aren't kidnapping, destroying, and trying to take over the world? Well... (Will continue after 10 reviews!)


BAD GUY BAKERY  
  
The question has been asked many times over, and yet no one really knows the answer, "What do the bad guys do when their not wreaking havoc upon innocent townspeople, kidnapping helpless maidens or just basically making everyone miserable?" Well I'm here to answer that question: They join forces and start a bakery!  
  
One day in the Mushroom kingdom, (which is now one of the many places that connect the many different Game realms), in a small shopping plaza sat an old empty shop with a sign in the window that read "FOR SALE" in big red letters. A small Mushroom man with a bushy mustache walks up to the entrance and reaches up and flips the sign over to read "SOLD!" He smiles to himself "Finally sold that place!" he said and he took out a handful of confetti and tossed it up in the air, clapped his hands twice, and bowed "May it be a successful business, and may many profits follow!" he said in a little prayer and he walked away humming to himself.  
  
(Let's skip ahead a few days, no one wants to read about paperwork and all the moving of the appliances right?)  
  
DAY 1: Grand Opening!  
  
-The bakery kitchen-  
  
Mewtwo: Will you hurry up?  
  
Dr. Eggman: Oh shut up, these Snicker doodles need more time!  
  
Gannon: Damn...frickin'...son of a...  
  
Mewtwo: What's wrong now?  
  
Gannon: This stupid oven isn't lighting! Frickin'...cheap ass piece of...  
  
Mewtwo: You didn't leave the gas on did you?!  
  
Gannon: The what? Oh there it- *FOOM!* ::Small explosion, Gannon's face is scorched black:: ...goes...oww.  
  
Mewtwo: You idiot...now clean that up and don't burn those cookies!  
  
Bowser: No way! I'm not wearing it!  
  
Shadow: Come on! We're all wearing them!  
  
Mewtwo: Now what?  
  
Shadow: He doesn't want to wear the hat.  
  
Mewtwo: Oh for the love of...  
  
Bowser: I'm not wearing it! I've got an image to keep up!  
  
Shadow: Don't be such a baby! Just wear the damn hat!  
  
Bowser: NO!  
  
Mewtwo: Either you wear that hat or else...  
  
Bowser: Or else WHAT?!  
  
Mewtwo: Or else you don't get your cut.  
  
Bowser: ...fine! I'll wear the stupid hat! Bastard...  
  
Mewtwo: Now go and help Gannon with that oven before he blows it up.  
  
Gannon: I heard that! *FOOM!* OW! OW! HOT! HOT! HOT!  
  
Bowser: Oh give me a break, you're a master of thieves and you don't know how to work a stupid oven?  
  
Gannon: Shut up; just give me a hand will ya?  
  
Bowser: And how long did you say you had Hyrule under your control?  
  
Gannon: Stuff it!  
  
Eggman: Oh will you two be quiet and get to work?! These Brownies won't bake themselves!  
  
Gannon: Well, if you think you're the "evil genius" around here, why don't you fix this stupid oven?!  
  
Eggman: Fine then! I will! ...let's see here...this goes there...that connects to this... aha! Here's the problem! ...there! Done! It should work fine now.  
  
::Gannon goes to light the oven, Bowser stops him::  
  
Bowser: I'll light it! :: Takes a deep breath and flames spew forth from his mouth and light the oven, the oven works fine::  
  
Eggman: See? I am a genius! Hahahahaha!  
  
::Gannon and Bowser exchange glances, smile, and take the oven door and swing it forward, bashing Eggman in the head with a loud BANG! Everyone but Mewtwo and Eggman burst out laughing::  
  
Eggman: Oh, look at the pretty colors.::falls flat on his face::  
  
Mewtwo: Will you idiots quit goofing off?! We have a business to run dammit! Bowser, you're running the register today.  
  
Bowser: Tch, fine. Give me a second ok?  
  
::The front door opens and a bell jingles above it, Peach and Daisy walk in::  
  
Peach: Oh, what a cozy little bakery.  
  
Daisy: Yes it is, and it smells so nice in here too.  
  
Peach: Well, what do you say we cheat our diets for a little bit hmm?  
  
Daisy: Oh, you're so bad! ::giggle:: but only a tiny bit.  
  
Peach: Okay! Hmm.no one here.::reaches over the counter and taps the service bell:: *Ding!*  
  
Bowser: Hang on, I'm coming! Yes, how may I-  
  
Peach: Bowser? Is that you!?  
  
Bowser: AH! Peach!? Daisy!?  
  
::Peach and Daisy begin to giggle::  
  
Peach: Why, Bowser.you look.so.  
  
Daisy: Adorable! ::Peach and Daisy look at each other and start laughing::  
  
Bowser: Aw come on.don't laugh.  
  
Peach: Oh that hat! It's so cute!  
  
Daisy: And that apron! How adorable! ::They continue to laugh::  
  
Bowser: Come on.this is humiliating as it is.  
  
Daisy: You're right, we shouldn't laugh.but wait until Luigi hears about this!  
  
Bowser: NO! Please! Don't tell anyone! I beg of you!  
  
Peach: Oh, we won't.unless.::she looks at Daisy, she smiles::  
  
Bowser: W-what? Oh, no, oh please no.  
  
Daisy: We won't tell, unless you give us.  
  
Peach: A dozen free cream puffs!  
  
Bowser: B-b-but, I can't do that!  
  
Peach: Oh, fine then.we'll just leave, I bet this will make an interesting dinner story.  
  
Daisy: Oh yes, indeed. Very interesting.  
  
::They turn and begin to leave the shop::  
  
Bowser: WAIT! Wait! I'll give you the cream puffs! At half price?  
  
::Daisy and Peach exchange glances::  
  
Peach: Deal!  
  
Bowser: Oh thank you, here, ::Begins placing a dozen cream puffs in a white box, then closes it up and wraps it with a little red ribbon:: and that comes to.five dollars.  
  
Peach: Thank you. ::she pays and takes the white box::  
  
Bowser: Remember, you promised!  
  
::Peach and Daisy smile and say "Thank you Bowser." In unison, then they exit giggling like crazy::  
  
Bowser: Oh, how did I ever agree to this? Hey, Shadow? You take register for a bit, I need to take a breather.  
  
Shadow: But you just started!  
  
Bowser: I don't care!  
  
Shadow: But I'm in the middle of making marshmallow frumpys! I can't do it now!  
  
Bowser: Eggman?  
  
Eggman: Fine, take a break, I'll do register!  
  
Bowser: Thanks. ::takes off his chef's hat and gloomily enters the break room:: How am I ever going to live this down?  
  
Eggman: How are the brownies doing, Gannon?  
  
Gannon: Uh, fine.I think, are they supposed to smell funny?  
  
Eggman: Check them you idiot!  
  
Gannon: Oops.  
  
Eggman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "OOPS?!"  
  
Gannon: I think I burnt them.  
  
Eggman: WHAT?! Let me see that! ::Opens the oven:: OH I DON'T BELIEVE IT! YOU BURNT MY BROWNIES!  
  
Gannon: Well excuse me, Mr. Betty Crocker! I don't know how to cook!  
  
Mewtwo: Now what's wrong? I leave for two seconds and you two are fighting again!  
  
Eggman: HE BURNT MY BROWNIES!  
  
Gannon: Chill out already!  
  
Mewtwo: Eggman, take care of the brownies, Gannon, go in the back and read some of the cookbooks in there, and where the hell is Bowser?  
  
Shadow: Oh, he's hiding in the break room nursing his ego, the big wuss.  
  
Mewtwo: Not this again.Bowser?!  
  
Bowser: I'm not coming out!  
  
Mewtwo: Come on.::he enters the break room and their voices are muffled by the door::  
  
Eggman: I guess I'm on register.Shadow, where did you learn how to cook?  
  
Shadow: ::stops making frumpys and glares at him::  
  
Eggman: What?  
  
Shadow: .Maria taught me.  
  
Eggman: Oh.sorry.  
  
Gannon: Who's this Maria?  
  
Shadow: I.I don't want to talk about it! ::goes back to making marshmallow frumpys::  
  
Eggman: It's a long story.  
  
Gannon: Oh.  
  
::Everyone is silent; Mewtwo and Bowser's muffled voices are the only ones that can be heard.::  
  
Mewtwo: (Muffled) .come.you're being...start acting.mature.  
  
Bowser: (Muffled) .you don't.how it.being the only big and..around.smaller than...you need to keep..about yourself...I need to feel..in control and.  
  
Eggman: Well, I'd better clean this pan.I still can't believe you don't know how to cook.  
  
Gannon: Hey, so I don't know how to use a frickin' oven.what's "shortening," some kind of magic?  
  
Shadow: You really have no idea what you're doing, that's just sad, and working in a bakery.  
  
Gannon: Oh shut up.  
  
::The door jingles and Amy Rose enters with two little Hedgehog kids behind her::  
  
Amy: Mmm, smells nice in here. So what did you guys want? Tanya?  
  
::The younger of the two, a toddler, gazes into the display case::  
  
Tanya: Umm.I'd.like a.donut please.  
  
Amy: Okay, now Trevor, what did you want?  
  
::The elder of the two, a teenager, looks up from the drink display:: Trevor: Hm? Oh, a donut sounds good, I'll have one as well please.  
  
Amy: Okay. ::She reaches over and taps the bell:: *Ding!*  
  
Eggman: Yes, yes, just a moment.there.okay. Why Amy! What a pleasant surprise!  
  
Amy: Dr. Eggman, nice to see you! What are you doing in a bakery?  
  
Eggman: Oh, just exploring some "alternative" work styles, and who might these two be? ::he gestures to the kids who are looking into the various display cases::  
  
Amy: Oh these are my friend, Melissa's, niece and nephew. I'm watching them for the afternoon.  
  
::Trevor looks up::  
  
Trevor: Did you say your name was Dr. Eggman? The Dr. Eggman?  
  
Eggman: Why, yes.  
  
Trevor: Oh, wow! I'm a huge fan of your designs!  
  
Eggman: Oh, I didn't know I had any fans! Heh heh, why thank you young man!  
  
Tanya: Umm.Mr. Eggman?  
  
Eggman: Yes little one?  
  
Tanya: My mommy says you're stinky.  
  
::Gannon, Shadow, and Bowser all burst out laughing::  
  
Amy: ::Holding back a laugh:: Tanya! Manners!  
  
::Looks down in shame::  
  
Tanya: Sorry Mr. Eggman.  
  
Eggman: That's quite all right, quite the.truthful one isn't she?  
  
Trevor: I'm sorry for my sister's behavior, she just doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut.I'm so sorry.  
  
Eggman: Oh, it's okay! She's still learning, one must make mistakes in order to learn from them, correct? Now, what can I get you?  
  
Amy: We'll take three donuts please, two chocolate glazed and one custard- filled please.  
  
Eggman: Here you are, and that comes to $1.75.  
  
Amy: Thank you!  
  
Trevor: It was an honor meeting you Dr. Eggman!  
  
Eggman: The pleasure was all mine young man.  
  
::Amy and the kids leave, and Eggman turns to go into the break room, passing Shadow he stops::  
  
Eggman:.not.one.word.  
  
Shadow: Okay.stinky.  
  
::Everyone but Eggman bursts into laughter, Mewtwo smiles to himself:: 


End file.
